I Must Agree

I am always on the search of something that makes me feel alive. I must agree with many who say, "sometimes it's hard to believe" because the pages of the calendar keep turning away, and nothing happens.

Realistic things are easier to believe, but what about when something is between what could be realistic or what could not?

I feel better when I realize that someone else understands me or that I can understand someone else. I do not worry too much about believing anymore, instead, I try something to make it happen. I have come to learn and understand that faith is more than just believing in something that you have not seen... It's about making the first move because your faith will never make it for you.

I Tried to Find You

Well, I got to say I did my part. 

I tried hard to find you and I almost got lost, good thing I found cool things to do during the journey of trying to get to you. 

Cars, trains, cities, and smells... Rain on my face and the wind blowing my hair.

Luck is action's best friend.

A Letter for You

Dear: Xxxx

I hope you are doing great, I bet you are making your dreams come true wherever you are right now. I always believed in you and it makes me happy to hear that you are succeeding in life.

Life is being great over here, I like going to school. I really love learning, I have found many challenging things that have put my mind where it should be. I have had hard days and some disappointments every now and then, but in despite of how bad I have felt, I have never got discouraged. That means a lot to me because it is hard to keep going on these days. I feel I'm taking life more serious than before.

I used to feel that somehow life would work out just fine by just working and going to school... Until I turned 22. I used to believe I would be married by that time and that I would have to work a new life for the man I would love and for me. Okay so I put my feet back on the ground and thought that I might be single for a long time and that I would probably start having children until I'm 30 or later. Yeah, that could happen to me, I would not discard that probability. Of course, there is nothing wrong with it, but it is just that I had to think more in the life I personally want to have for myself in the meantime.

Wow! Really? Is this real life? Now I will take my dad's counsels about money more seriously. Once I start my professional career out there, I am seriously thinking about saving a big part of my salary and invest.

What about going back to El Salvador for living? You know what, I really think about it and I can see myself living there because I'd love to be closer to my parents. They are so great, they make me very happy, they are in their 60's and I would so love to take care of them and be there when they get sick or need something. I know they miss me a lot and that kinda breaks my heart. I have been reading many articles about families and really, I should take advantage of my time with them on this earth. I feel I didn't get to spend as much time with them before because I was busy with school, sports, and music and they were working. Now they are retired and I would be just working when I finish school.

People tell me about the money I could make here and the money I could make down there, but you know what, spending more hours at work or making more money do not compensate the happiness we can receive from precious times with our family. I have come to strongly believe in that from what I have seen here so far.

I would love to hear more about you, keep staying busy and don't ever forget me :)

Sincerely,

Claudia R.

Exciting Things Happening

I had not even thought thoroughly about the things that are coming to my life this summer. I am thrilled!!!

Life is now and life is great, despite all the challenges that come with it.

April

• I'm playing the New World Symphony, Slavonic dances (Dvorak) and Symphony No. 4 (Tchaikovsky) with the BYU university orchestra. I love the arts with all my heart!
• My good friend Manu, my sister, and my niece are coming from California. They will also help me move to the Bay Area baby :)

May

• Trip to El Salvador

June

• Surprise trip for my birthday
• Internship starts. Yay yaaaay!
• Putting mission papers in

July and August

• Working hard
• Partying hard

September, October or November

• Leaving to serve a mission

:D

Giving Back

I stop and stare at my world, then I can see more clearly how much I have been given. Instead of me paying the consequences of some decisions, someone else is being used as an instrument to make my life better and happier.

I recognize how easy and fast is to forget the most important things when I get caught up by other important things. I read the other day that the greatest lessons we can learn in this life are lessons "that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not." I always see myself  having more time to do the things that make me happy and spending more time with those I love, but that is in an "illusive and nonexistent future." Instead, I want to find joy now and I want to do what makes me happy now. My family makes me very happy, serving others makes me very happy too. It's time to give back. My family is more important than anything else, I will travel home on May to spend time with my family instead of working to save up more money for the future. I understand I have responsibilities as a woman who is preparing herself for her future family, but life is now and sometimes that is hard to understand or accept. 

Who have you rescued?

I want to be successful like many people out there but I want to use my education, talents and other abilities to bless others who are less fortunate. I really want to be the change I want to see in the world, I don't want to think only about me working in Wall Street or in a big city; I want to see myself making others happy.

My greatest happiness will never be the amount of titles I held as a professional but my greatest satisfaction and happiness will be the people I could rescued.

I hope I can join organizations that help to fight poverty by using business tools,  I had a class today about microfinance and how that has helped in the development of many communities in different countries around the world. I know I can help in so many ways and that I will figure out for sure how my gifts and abilities can benefit a community. The poor are poor because they lack of opportunities.

The reason why I have the opportunities I have so far is because someone with desires like mine decided to hire my dad, who never attended high-school. This person always looked after my dad's family and helped my dad to develop himself in what he was good at. My dad became an entrepreneur and he was able to give his family better opportunities for life. He is a wise man.

Going on a mission

I have decided to serve a full time service mission this fall, now is the perfect time. I don't care how old I am or how old I will be when I get back, the future is so uncertain that I should not care about what the future may have for me, my present is flying by and my life has to be used for something more at this time.

I want my life to be useful for others. 

Take Risks

Little Acts of Kindness

• I was in such a hurry, I needed to be on time to have pictures taken at my friend's wedding. I had been packing the whole day to move to another city. Shannon, my roommate started to iron my bridesmaid dress and I was able to get out of my house on time.

NYC

• I was in New York City for the very first time, I had posted on Facebook a picture of me in Times Square,  I got a phone call from a friend that lived there, he told me he saw on Facebook that I was in NYC so he invited me to spend the night at his place so I did not have to go all the way back to Connecticut late at night where I was staying with another friend.

• A very busy day and I had not had the chance to fold my clothes after doing my laundry. I went to work and spent the whole day there and when I got home, Lauren, one of my roommates had folded all my clothes.

• Worried at the hospital on Christmas Eve, my mom was very sick with blood in her brain, I was there by myself and my friend Fernando brought me a delicious dinner, chocolate cake and a drink from his house. He cheered me up.

• Not even asking for a ride from the airport to a place I had never been before, Mary offered to go pick me up before I asked, she bought me some food and let me stay at her house for a week until I found a place for me.

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace. ~ Dalai Lama

Happiness

I have always believed that happiness is also a habit.

It's Hard To Say

It looks like we get to the point where we finally figure it out, but it takes a long, long time.
I really wish some people would've got it all figured out a long time ago; otherwise, maybe I wouldn't have turned and walked away.


I don't believe in leaving doors open "just in case" someone wants to go back. It is hard to say I kept some hope with me about someone getting back with me. I knew the best was not to be with this person. It is true, time cures. The best part is that we can choose how long time we want to suffer. Lesson learned. The faster we realize that each relationship, good or bad, is a gift and an opportunity to learn from ourselves, the faster we will be able to cure and start loving and living again.

It is hard to say what is in some people that we always want to be with them. I feel I have learned about the feeling of knowing for sure when I really like someone; to the point that I don't care about many things. I don't care about the things this person doesn't have. I don't care about many circumstances. I don't feel like trying to fix this person.

They say love is blind but I have never been that blind, I promise I always have had my feet on the ground; however, when I have been with someone I really like, I have not cared about anything else, I could have spent every single day with this person and everything else probably would have not mattered.

Future

And this is how I feel about my future. It is now or never.

In Love or In Lust?

I loved reading articles about developing love for a special someone and I love learning from what others think about it. I am talking about romantic love.

Joseph B. Whirtlin said that "the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend," so this makes me think about how important is to do little things for this special someone like writing a little note, a letter expressing some feelings or serving this person with sincere intention. I have noticed that love grows so much in a very special way by doing these things. I have felt it even with members of my family.

True love is a process, it requires personal action and it takes time. I think that when someone is truly loving or being loved, can feel that love cares, protects and enriches, which takes to sacrificing for each other.

"Love is far more than physical attraction," said Spencer W. Kimball. I wonder if most couples are really in love or if they understand the kind of love they have for each other.

Many people are in lust, but not in love. Although, they think they are in love.

What Matters

And when you have to decide between one thing or the other...

Rhythm of Life

So I'm now part of the BYU University Orchestra. I joined the Viola section. Yeah, I always wanted to be part of something like this. I come from El Salvador, I have small and big dreams. Dreams like coming to BYU and getting a great education, leave everything behind and come here to make my wishes what I want them to be. Music is a great part of who I am, just a few people know about the impact it had in my life when I started. It changed me a lot, I really can say music is powerful. I am not a professional in neither of the instruments I play but developing my talents has helped me to believe in my capacities and have discipline in my life.

I do a little bit of everything and I want to be good at something, I'm working on getting a degree in Finance. It's a very difficult major, I am really scared of not being accepted in the program. Gosh! It is so competitive and they only accept grades from 90-100, pretty much! It's a school for smart people, I know my stuff but I struggle when taking tests. Ugh! I like a lot what I have learned thus far about Finance, it is tough but I know I can do it. I feel I am very good dealing with life and having a good attitude towards difficult times. It seems like it flows naturally, but when it comes to wanting to do what I want, all I get is difficult stuff that costs me a lot. It's true, "nothing good comes easy," says David A. Bednar.

Making use of my talents has helped me to believe a lot in myself, I gave gained a lot of confidence when trying new and difficult things. That's how life is! I first got scared when I played the music in the first rehearsal but as I have been studying I have realized that it is not impossible and that is something I really can play. I am pretty sure I am the least experienced member there because most of those kids have started playing an instrument since they were 8 or 9 years old. I started when I was 16.

I am back in the business and trying hard to be in shape with my instrument. I love arts. Music means a lot to me and I'm glad I am forcing myself in a good way to study and practice more often.

Like A Star

Take advantage of the times of darkness because...

As Now I Take The Sacrament

As now I take the sacrament, my thoughts are turned to thee, thou son of God, who lived for me, then died on Calvary. I contemplate thy lasting grace, thy boundless charity; to me the gift of life was giv'n for all eternity.

As now my mind reviews the past, I know I must repent; the way to thee is righteousness, the way thy life was spent. Forgiveness is a gift from thee I seek with pure intent. With hands now pledged to do thy work, I take the sacrament.