Not Anymore!

Though it was so dissapointing, I'm glad that the need of expressing what I felt is gone. I feel free and I don't care anymore. I know me and I'm glad the feelings of last month are gone.

Let It Be

All I truly know is that I love my people, but I also love doing anything to make myself and others happy. I am willing to pay the price for it and I gotta accept the consequences.

I needed a way to fly a little higher, I went up to the clouds because the view was a little nicer.

I just let it be the way it is. Quick moments. Long lasting memories.

From My House Door to the Unknown

About to turn and walk away, without the need of getting over alarmed, I'll be coming back home anyway.

I wonder what is after the unknown, I'm excited to make many things happen, but before I want to make sure to let those know I love them, and that I care more than what is imaginable.

I want to do what I am supposed to do. Here I am, closer to my house door to depart towards the unknown. 

Every morning I try to wake up slow, I do a little bit of everything, I do what makes me happy in order to improve. All I truly have is a pocket full of dreams, I am from here, no need to go back to New York City to build up new dreams and feel inspired.

Last winter began roughly, one day I was sad and worried, the next day I was the happiest. I missed the smiles I longed to see, I missed the hugs I longed to receive. There are many memories here inside me from the last four years, sometimes these memories knock me down, sometimes I just put them away (just like the song says).

Most my friends tell me I am a very strong woman, and I guess I have proved that to myself. I always try hard to put sadness and frustration away; it has helped, but some things in life hit me hard. I usually do not mention what hurts me the most because it's out of my hands. The only thing that is on me is the attitude I take towards it.

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” - Helen Keller

I Must Agree

I am always on the search of something that makes me feel alive. I must agree with many who say, "sometimes it's hard to believe" because the pages of the calendar keep turning away, and nothing happens.

Realistic things are easier to believe, but what about when something is between what could be realistic or what could not?

I feel better when I realize that someone else understands me or that I can understand someone else. I do not worry too much about believing anymore, instead, I try something to make it happen. I have come to learn and understand that faith is more than just believing in something that you have not seen... It's about making the first move because your faith will never make it for you.

Giving Back

I stop and stare at my world, then I can see more clearly how much I have been given. Instead of me paying the consequences of some decisions, someone else is being used as an instrument to make my life better and happier.

I recognize how easy and fast is to forget the most important things when I get caught up by other important things. I read the other day that the greatest lessons we can learn in this life are lessons "that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not." I always see myself  having more time to do the things that make me happy and spending more time with those I love, but that is in an "illusive and nonexistent future." Instead, I want to find joy now and I want to do what makes me happy now. My family makes me very happy, serving others makes me very happy too. It's time to give back. My family is more important than anything else, I will travel home on May to spend time with my family instead of working to save up more money for the future. I understand I have responsibilities as a woman who is preparing herself for her future family, but life is now and sometimes that is hard to understand or accept. 

Who have you rescued?

I want to be successful like many people out there but I want to use my education, talents and other abilities to bless others who are less fortunate. I really want to be the change I want to see in the world, I don't want to think only about me working in Wall Street or in a big city; I want to see myself making others happy.

My greatest happiness will never be the amount of titles I held as a professional but my greatest satisfaction and happiness will be the people I could rescued.

I hope I can join organizations that help to fight poverty by using business tools,  I had a class today about microfinance and how that has helped in the development of many communities in different countries around the world. I know I can help in so many ways and that I will figure out for sure how my gifts and abilities can benefit a community. The poor are poor because they lack of opportunities.

The reason why I have the opportunities I have so far is because someone with desires like mine decided to hire my dad, who never attended high-school. This person always looked after my dad's family and helped my dad to develop himself in what he was good at. My dad became an entrepreneur and he was able to give his family better opportunities for life. He is a wise man.

Going on a mission

I have decided to serve a full time service mission this fall, now is the perfect time. I don't care how old I am or how old I will be when I get back, the future is so uncertain that I should not care about what the future may have for me, my present is flying by and my life has to be used for something more at this time.

I want my life to be useful for others. 

Take Risks

Rhythm of Life

So I'm now part of the BYU University Orchestra. I joined the Viola section. Yeah, I always wanted to be part of something like this. I come from El Salvador, I have small and big dreams. Dreams like coming to BYU and getting a great education, leave everything behind and come here to make my wishes what I want them to be. Music is a great part of who I am, just a few people know about the impact it had in my life when I started. It changed me a lot, I really can say music is powerful. I am not a professional in neither of the instruments I play but developing my talents has helped me to believe in my capacities and have discipline in my life.

I do a little bit of everything and I want to be good at something, I'm working on getting a degree in Finance. It's a very difficult major, I am really scared of not being accepted in the program. Gosh! It is so competitive and they only accept grades from 90-100, pretty much! It's a school for smart people, I know my stuff but I struggle when taking tests. Ugh! I like a lot what I have learned thus far about Finance, it is tough but I know I can do it. I feel I am very good dealing with life and having a good attitude towards difficult times. It seems like it flows naturally, but when it comes to wanting to do what I want, all I get is difficult stuff that costs me a lot. It's true, "nothing good comes easy," says David A. Bednar.

Making use of my talents has helped me to believe a lot in myself, I gave gained a lot of confidence when trying new and difficult things. That's how life is! I first got scared when I played the music in the first rehearsal but as I have been studying I have realized that it is not impossible and that is something I really can play. I am pretty sure I am the least experienced member there because most of those kids have started playing an instrument since they were 8 or 9 years old. I started when I was 16.

I am back in the business and trying hard to be in shape with my instrument. I love arts. Music means a lot to me and I'm glad I am forcing myself in a good way to study and practice more often.

Like A Star

Take advantage of the times of darkness because...

It Is So Simple

So many good wishes in a heart that yearns a happy life, make everyone around happy, be busy changing the world, get a lovely job, etc. How easy is to be full of good wishes...

Life is full of simple things that take people to accomplish complex things. No need to get to the complexity first without dominating simplicity.

East Coast Trip Summary

This is a summary of some of the places we visited. It was an adventure!

"One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." Henry Miller

This trip really made me think more about what are the things I'm doing in order to accomplish my goals and get where I want to be. Also, what sacrifices I am willing to make and what sacrifices I am already doing.

I know that I don't need to go on a trip to think about these things but really every time I step away from my routine, I find new ways of looking at things and I come to find myself alone in the real world and I feel like, "wait, this is real life. Time never stops. Success starts here." I think that is why major travelers love going far away to explore and discover because they also find themselves. I love traveling, I wanna go everywhere I can, no matter how far or how close. I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have to do so. It's a great sensation! Hopefully my life lasts enough!

To Go Beyond is as Wrong as to Fall Short

They say that some mistakes in life are too fun to only make once and that a lot of mistakes are also great memories. Yes, it can be true; I must say, but what is called a mistake usually brings a lot of regrets. The way I see it is that you can either learn from it, forgive yourself and forget it or run from it.
We call mistakes to those things that we consider as wrong or those things that ruin our dreams, lives or expectations. The concept of a mistake depends on the principles that rule each one's lives.

Yes, it was bad and we shouldn't have done it. We didn't think the way we should've thought about the situation. Everyone makes mistakes right? But I don't pretend to justify mistakes only because everyone makes them or because I have to make some mistakes in order to learn and grow.

Feelings of regret will come but we must let them pass and keep moving on. 

Live and do things differently. What we did cannot be undo but the way we decide to live our life afterwards is what can compensate the tiny part in the time of our lives that went wrong... It probably took 5 mins or only15 secs to do, say, see, etc. something... But forget about it. Don't regret too much and make the necessary adjustments by taking some action to forgive yourself and do things better for real... Leave it behind because you can't go back. 

There are limits between what is right and what is wrong, sometimes we like to get to the edge in between what is wrong and what is right, so we like being in the middle. We do things that we think they are okay because we haven't crossed the line completely but they are surely wrong because going beyond our limits is as wrong as not going far enough... It's all about character and self-control.

Make a change!

Ode To My Joy

I've been thinking a lot about the things I've done that have required a great amount of courage from my part and I thought, "That was really courageous! What did I have in my mind at that time?! How did I do that?" and then I though that if I have had the courage to do those things in my past that have been for my good, that means that I can do whatever I want. I know it is hard and I have to go through things that require a lot of sacrifice from me.

I have learned so many things thanks to those decisions, things I know I would have not learned if I would have not have the courage to do so. I have also had a lot of fun.

"Do not let the fear of the unknown stop you from anything you want to accomplish."- Claudia Recinos.

Today I heard very wise words that I decided to apply in my life. I feel happy that I get to hear wise counsels to make my life better and improve myself.

Winner: A Big Thing For Me

Competing was a big thing for me. I used to worry a lot about winning and I cried every time I lost a competition. I used to be more competitive than now because I was very involved in a winner-loser setting and I wanted to be outstanding but later on in the general settings of my life like school and work, I care about being an outstanding worker and student but at the same time I just care about giving my very best and becoming the best I can be. I don't seek to compete against people in particular. I think like this: "If the means of giving my very best take me to the 1st place, that is great! If not, I might need to do things differently." I compete only against me towards what I want and where I want to be. I might not always reach the 1st place but it's about giving my very best right? True thing is that there are a lot of people better than me in so many ways, and that is great! I don't worry too much about it, they are just my inspiration and I hope I can be like them someday :) In fact, I loved this great quote from Jeffrey R. Holland, “There are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin."

 Some of the medals I won from track and tennis. I was all about sports. I started competing in track and tennis in1998. I stopped in 2004 not playing tennis or doing track but playing basketball and badminton. I had an amazing time and I experienced great feelings of victory as well as sad feelings of losing. Sometimes is okay not being the winner but the best of it is knowing that you gave your very best!

Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad

It's all about making the movement to accept and face a new beginning. Stop over analyzing the situation and follow the connection between your heart and your mind that tells you what and how to do it.

Don't think about a "someday" that "someday" might never come. Don't wait for the day when everything is going to make sense. Most of your life actually makes sense already, you just have to connect the dots.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets, life is too short to live annoyed by people, life is too short to believe the whole time that everything happens for a reason because many times you are the reason why everything happens.

You Cannot Start the Next Chapter of Your Life if You Keep Reading the Last One

Close that book and start a new one.
Remember that your time is limited, don't waste it!

Yes, you made a mistake. You "made" it. That's now in the past and you've learned from it.
Learn to accept your mistakes so you can accept yourself. Learn to say no when what you really want to say is No. Never say no when what you really want to say is yes.

Memories

It's very very sweet when moments spent in the past come to your mind... Moments that made you feel invincible and happy...

Someone once said, "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

They just stay in the past, you just keep the sweet memories and you feel grateful because at least they happened but if they would happen right now in this very moment it wouldn't probably be the same...

"The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it."

All I Got to Do

     

                                                                                                             Sky cleared up after the day had turned black and yes, the sky had ripped apart... Then I closed my eyes and I looked up because I remembered the phrase, "It's better to look up."

It’s always good to get away from your routine at least for a weekend.

I went completely out of it. I got out of my car, I got out of my house, I got out of my desk, I got out of the state, I got out of the country to explore but mostly analyze my life and the way I live it. I want to be better!!! I need to be better! I have to be better! I can be and do better! Much better!

Should we care that much about what other people think about us?

Good reputation is like a crown, but it is visible mostly to only those who know you well enough...

If you happen to do something good, your action might appear offensive or bad to some people even though that was not your real intention. Think about the other day when you probably acted without thinking,  you gave a bad/degrading look to someone without thinking about it and it just came out naturally. Do you understand?

One day you probably have to find yourself doing something you should not do but you might have strong personal reasons to do so at that time (Kill someone, steal something in an emergency, violate a red light, get on a fight to defend your family, etc) People passing by, friends of you, people who know you might judge you when they see you doing whatever thing you are doing but what anyone doesn't know is the “Why of your actions.” People cannot see or even think about the circumstances you are going through. 

I’m not intending to justify your bad actions. Some people call good actions to what really is bad for the majority of people. All I know is that       what has been set as right will always lead you to the best results.

My conclusion and opinion is just simple. Care little about what other people say/think about you and let your good actions demonstrate what you really are. Remember that people will always remember what they see you doing badly more than your good and small but important actions. Care more about what God thinks about you, He knows you very well and by name, He knows the sincere and selfish desires of your heart more than anyone else in this world and at the end, His judgment is the one that will really count.

Overcome Weakness

Become More Fearless by Watching this

No Other Day like Today

11/11/11

11 Things I have learned since 2000 until 2011

• Year 2000: The world was not going to end in2000. (After having made it through the whole year.)
• Year 2001:Breaking the rules can lead you to misery. Be smart and go for what hasbeen already established as right. That will always lead you to the bestresults. (Being rebel was not making me happy).
• Year 2002: The future is in my hands, I candecide today to be a different person and that can make all the difference. (Iwanted to make a change in my life, be the best I could and go after my dreams)
• Year 2003: My life has a meaning! (Istarted to understand the purpose of my life thanks to the gospel ofJesuschrist that had been introduced to me towards the end of 2002.
• Year 2004: I knew I could do it! (Iwanted to be excellent in all the aspects I could, the main one was getting thebest grades of my class, I did! I was in first place!)
• Year 2005: A single change in my life cangive me a completely new life. (Moved to a new house in a new neighborhood,started going to a new school, made new friends. That changed my life again!
• Year 2006: Fear not, everything will be okay.Everything will turn out good for you, only for your good. (After havinghad 2 surgeries, I went through a very hard recuperation process. I was worriedfor the whole month I missed of school and for having a normal healthy life.Everything turned out amazingly great.)
• Year 2007: Don’t stop believing (I had prayedfor almost 5 years for something to happen in my family, every time I prayed Ifelt that it was going to happen sooner or later but it was going to happen. Ithappened!)
• Year 2008: Take all advantage of theopportunities you have right now. They might never come again. (I decided Ishould come to USA to study and prepare for life.)
• Year 2009: You are not alone. (I made itthrough a year so far away from my family, it was hard at the beginning to beall by myself but God gave me strength and put many angels around me to bare meup. I did things I never thought I would do that had to be part of my way tothe fulfillment of my dreams.)
• Year 2010: Have a positive attitude, take iteasy, and be still. (Sometimes things do not work the way I want to and thatadds many complications to my life. Those complications usually take time andmoney away from me. Time is a precious thing for me and money is indeed thesource of my temporal living. Here is when I have to show patient and hope thateverything will be okay at the end by putting in practiced what I have learned.Life is a test!)

The 2011, oh the 2011. I gotta love it. Great things havehappened. YEAR 2011: If you want to behappy you need to learn how to prioritize. (I have learned that I shouldnot change what is important and of a great value for me for something/someonethat is not compatible with my beliefs, priorities and standards. I have hadgreat decisions to make, I have had to decide between those that are good,better and best. Someone taught me that the best decision will always be theone that benefits my fellowman.)