I’m Here

I’m still here in this world.

I‘m glad that I live in this beautiful world.

Salt Lake City, UT

Dating versus Hanging Out by Dallin H. Oaks

Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called “hanging out.” You young people apparently know what this is, but I will describe it for the benefit of those of us who are middle-aged or older and otherwise uninformed. Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.

Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.

Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.

Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off.
Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.

If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may never have the opportunity for a suitable marriage in this life, so stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin’s advice to call “on the name of the Lord daily, and [stand] steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11).

Self-esteem

“Self-esteem goes to the very heart of our personal growth and accomplishment. It is the glue that holds together our self-reliance, our self-control, our self-approval or disapproval and keeps all self-defense mechanisms secure. It is a protection against excessive self-deception, self-distrust, self-reproach, and plain old-fashioned selfishness.” 
- James E. Faust

Friend

Being a friend is telling a friend that you can help him, make him happy and rejoice together.

One friend in your life is enough.

Sorrows and fears go away when you let him know how you feel.

Attitude Awareness

Be aware of how your attitude affects others.

If you are wondering why people treat you in a certain way, perhaps it is time to consider doing an attitude check. Think about it...

• How do you greet people throughout the day?
• Are you sincere when you ask someone how they are doing? Do you listen to the answer?
• Do you allow circumstances to dictate your mood?
• When was the last time you "put a smile on your face" despite feeling overwhelmed with life?

For every action there is a reaction. Since you are the owner of the action, you may very well be the catalyst for the reaction from others.

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited

things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us

to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to

offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended

us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a

condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something

else." David A. Bednar

Secrets to the Female Psychology

• Women thrive when they feel safe and secure.
• Women love through sacrifice. However, women often love and sacrifice in ways that are not good for the male psychology.
• A woman needs a man to communicate about his needs. Not only will a woman love him for communicating respectfully with her, but the more she sacrifices to meet his needs, the more deeply her love will grow.
• Women are attracted to strength and confidence.
• WOMEN LIKE TO BE PURSUED AND TO FEEL WANTED.
• Women long to feel adored.
• Women like gifts, surprises, reasonable spontaneity, and excitement. The extra effort makes them feel special.

Sunshine in the Soul

There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my Light.

O there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine,
When the peaceful, happy moments roll;
When Jesus shows His smiling face,
There is sunshine in the soul.

Opening hymn for the General Relief Society Meeting, Sept 2009.

Temple Marriage

"The subject of marriage is debated across the world, where various arrangements exist for conjugal living. My purpose in speaking out on this topic is to declare, as an Apostle of the Lord, that marriage between a man and a woman is sacred—it is ordained of God. I also assert the virtue of a temple marriage. It is the highest and most enduring type of marriage that our Creator can offer to His children." Russell M. Nelson

Three Important Ways to Teach

1. By example
2. By example
3. By example
   

Seeking Knowledge

Knowledge is power. Who knows more?
              The passion for something hooks the attention. The power to succeed is the knowledge.

"The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge." - Bertrand Russell

The word philosophy is literally translated from the Greek to "Love of Wisdom".

What We Can Love is The Truth

"You always admire what you really don't understand." - Blaise Pascal