I feel like I have finally accepted the fact of
letting go each and everyone who once was part of my life but did not come to stay in it. I always have had the hope that maybe, eventually or later down the road a miracle to have you back in my life could be possible and that we could enjoy the moment just like the old days. Yes, I'm talking about
that impulse of holding on to how I wanted things to be or how I want them now.
Assuredly, now I have come to understand and overall accept that I have to let go whatever is not serving me, whatever I no longer need (or maybe I do but it cannot be), whatever keeps me from accepting new realities and do not dwell in possibilities of having what once were my dreams of the future.
And this is why is hard to let go: Letting go is about being okay with the fact of what once was important, now it's all gone... I do feel okay with it but not consciously. I miss the commodity of the things I experienced, which now are in the past and it's hard to imagine something or someone better than that and because the future is uncertain, it's really hard to tell how things are going to be, specially who or what I will probably need. The way I see it: I am not used to let go because I feel like holding on to someone or something can eventually benefit me in the future.
Definitely, I should never give up, and that's one of the things that keeps me being persistent with my hopes but now with these kind of things I should remove all hope and possibility because that is what "letting go" means, "things will not change."
I'll look at it as if the people and things that were in my life once, have fulfilled their purpose and will never get back together with me.
And that's it. I no longer want to remember the day I met you, I don't want to remember how I felt, what I did, what you told me, what I should've done nor "what could happen if..."
I'm even willing to not recall or go back to those chapters of my life. I miss them but there's a lot more coming soon!
Think positively and cheerfully!
I've been thinking a lot about the things I've done that have required a great amount of courage from my part and I thought, "That was really courageous! What did I have in my mind at that time?! How did I do that?" and then I though that if I have had the courage to do those things in my past that have been for my good, that means that I can do whatever I want. I know it is hard and I have to go through things that require a lot of sacrifice from me.
